fhgjkfdhg do you ever see an au involving a piece of media you know Really Fucking Well and you can tell based on the description alone that the author is not really that familiar with the material they’re making an au of
Paragraph Breaks Are Free
sometimes you can very easily tell when something was written by a straight man.
you would think
i talked to them in the comments and they changed the fic so that ryan was married to a man previously, which solved the issue, but i don’t think they quite grasped why i said that what they wrote was inappropriate (they pulled the “but creative license thing” when i commented that they shouldn’t be writing ryan’s wife in anything no matter the characterization, but the negative characterization was even more disrespectful to someone who did not give their consent to be in fic)
because people are terrible
like… we need to remember that these ppl we write about are real, and that they’ve given us permission (that they would be 100% in the right to revoke at any moment) to write about them, and we need to respect the very few and basic requests they have for us such as not including families.
anyway i think the best (possibly the only) way to treat family members who don’t want to be in fandom content is pretend they don’t exist. if you want to, say, give ryan an ex-wife, then make it clear (from name to characterization) that she’s an oc. same with kids. don’t pull coy shit where you write around (but still about) people who don’t want to be involved and then act like you didn’t involve them in something they didn’t give consent to be involved in. saying “oh ryan’s wife this, ryan’s wife that” (which i have seen multiple times in fic [and many times they do it in order to characterize her as a bitch like could u get ur misogyny out of here]) is undeniably the latter case and it needs to stop yesterday.
actually wait i got more AO3 Bullshit™
what’s the phrase? “if you were on fire i wouldn’t piss to put you out”?
@ the person who wrote this: you’re a nasty person if you thought any of this was appropriate
in the trashcan where it belongs. next question